After people divorce, why do they start going to the gym, or start taking that class they always wanted to, or start going out with friends more, etc.
They feel like they lost who they were during their marriage and now it’s finally their chance to do and be whatever they want.
BUT, hello, we can do those things while still married!
It boils down to this: We stop being individuals in our marriages.
These are my 5 tried and true marital tips so we thrive as individuals (and stay married!)
- Treat each other like individual people. We are individuals FIRST, then a spouse/parent.
- Have separate interests/things to do. This gives us stuff to talk about to each other. And being interesting is very attractive.
- Go to see movies separately sometimes. There is something exciting about waiting for your spouse to go see a movie you have already seen, just so you can talk to each other about it. Give it a try.
- Go for a weekend trips alone. That sends ourselves a message that we are separate individuals and it allows space without each other. We also have separate experiences, which makes us more interesting too.
- Put yourself in new, uncomfortable situations. Like go to a local event by yourself. Stretching ourselves in this area helps us to grow as individual people.
I guess you could say working on self-improvement is a gift to ourselves and our spouse. It’s a gift that keeps on giving too.
And dare I say, if we have those things going on in our marriage, we may feel like we are dating our spouses again.
Put yourself on the line, have experiences, be courageous with your life! And a thriving marriage will be a by-product.